random rant...

I'm getting more and more frustrated with some things.

First, my timetable. Before, I had only one 8am class and my days in uni usually end accordingly to the bus schedule where I come out from the classroom straight into the bus. Now, after the many changes, I have three 8am classes and I have to wait at least 45 minutes for the damn bus to get back home for majority of the days! Come on, it's Euro's month!

Of course, I have the option of following friends' cars home(which I did today), but I dislike the feeling of asking for a favour. What's more, it's almost on daily basis that I am in need of transport back home and I'm not good friends to any of my coursemates. It will only increase the feeling of indebtedness in me.

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Second, my lecturer. Among all my lecturers this semester, one particular lecturer stands out. It's not the one i said i admire, it's one that I hate the most. The hatred grows with time, in fact, the word "hate" can easily upgrade to "despise" in no time.

He's a guy, a more than qualified lecturer with doctorate, short, round, fleshy, specky, and looks so innocent, and carries a fat backpack which resembles himself to class. From first impression alone, he's already far behind the lecturer whom i said i admire(not to mention the real running race).

What makes me so irritated with this doctor is, sometimes he has a glass of teh tarik in class-taking refreshing sips while pausing, he's clumsy, he comes to class unprepared (probably bcos he thinks he's a doctor), he's freaking blur, he needs a lot of pauses to think over the facts he's teaching us, he needs to be corrected all the time, sometimes he insists his steps are correct although basically it's already wrong(it feels funny when he still insist), he makes funny, disgusting noises with his nose while talking(pity the mic), he blows his nose out loud out of sudden in the middle of the class, he uses the tissue he blew his nose with to wipe the board, he writes with invisible marker pen ink, he uses font size "smallest" on the board, he writes piles of shit on the board, he writes more than he speaks, he introduces the ridiculous rule of allowing only 5 of out of 20 tutorial questions to be discussed and he wants us to do the questions ourselves and hand them up when we don't have a single idea what he does in lectures.

Remember what i said about confidence? Yeah, this lecturer has the confidence. I can see it from his face when he explains things. But, how the heck can you trust or admire or respect this guy after you read the previous paragraph? In fact, I feel funny looking at his innocent face when he's lecturing. He can just write one grandmother story on the board, and anytime you have to erase everything you just copied and start from square one again because the whole thing is wrong. It's not just once or twice.

What amazes me more is why the heck only 2 or 3 students failed his subject??! The students must have passed through self-study and sheer hard work. I feel so grateful when I finally got the reference books for the subject. Have been like a stranger to the subject and now, I finally got to know a thing or two about wats the subject about. Who's the better teacher?

I was already thinking about what to write for the end-of-semester evaluation of the lecturers, but soon I realised it could be very risky because as far I know, he's the head lecturer, he's a doctor and I think he's got some high-level post in the uni organisation(with great power comes great possibility of power abuse). Before I knew it, I could be barred from the exam or sitting for the supplementary exam or seeing his innocent face again in his class next semester.

Once, when my friends and I passed by him near the com lab, I said, "Look, our favourite lecturer". My friend smiled and said "Don't too loud ah..". I soften down a bit but then after thinking for a while, wasn't it a compliment?

Yea, I know, u can tell me of what I could have done in terms of my own effort. I could have asked my friends on the subject, or check out for useful books in the library, spend some 5 hours on the subject a day, surf for info on the net, sit in the first row and ask questions and so on.

Haha, you're right.

Arrogance is confidence

"Maybe people always kick me because i'm too good. I don't know why."

Cristiano Ronaldo

Yes, arrogance is confidence. If you are very good in what you do, you have the licence to be arrogant. People don't have reason to tell you off because you have the quality, the substance, the value to the society. In fact, in general, many girls like arrogant guys for their confidence and unpredictability.

I have the utmost respect for people who have the substance. For example, I really admire one of my lecturers who is very good in his math field. He can just enter the lecture hall with a thin set of self-made notes, a small plastic bag of marker pens and duster for the board, and get the lecture going. And there's this bit of arrogance about him that impresses me more - his confident look on his face, the sleaves rolled up his arm, the way he walks and talks. I would feel rather intimidated to talk to him because of his overwhelming confidence.

Now, the thing about arrogance that annoys me here is, people who are yet to achieve anything in life, and yet they are arrogant - people who are arrogant for the wrong reasons. For instance, good-looking people who become cocky because of the attention they get. The pride that comes from the constant attention gets into these people and make them think they are important people in the society. Fact is, they have nothing to show off. Beauty is not a talent.

For me, if you have a degree, you speak good English, then you show off to me.

And oh, by the way, I have bad news for Chelsea fans:

after missing the decisive penalty

charged my hand

I got electrocuted today.

I tried to check out the light bulb that was not working and forgot to switch off the power(the stupidest thing people can ever do). After taking out the bulb, I accidentally touched the power source point and I could feel strong electric current travelling from my middle fingertip up to my shoulder. Of course, normal reflex pulled my hand out before my whole body gets roasted. Playing safe, although there were no aftermath effects, I visited the doctor and got good news. But, until now, I am actually still worrying.

Nowadays, logic doesn't really happen all the time. Like Tomohiro Kato, no logic explains his actions. When u tease someone harmlessly, that someone may feel the need to bash you up, which is the reason I always prefer to stay out of trouble. Some people die of unexplained natural causes. Some people may look at his best health today but tomorrow is a different story.

I am scared.

Joker-wannabe

"Some men aren't looking for anything logical. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn."

This is one of the many proofs:



This damn guy drove a truck and rammed into pedestrians deliberately, then came down and went on a stabbing spree, which killed 7 people in total. Motive? No motive. It's surely mental problem, like Joker.

the Joke is on you

Mayor: What've we got?
Lt. James Gordon: Nothing. No name, no other alias. Clothing is... custom. Nothing in his pockets but knives and lint.

Here is my card

Fooohhh... Joker makes me insanely passionate about the next Batman movie, The Dark Knight, due to be released on July 18. This one is way bigger than Batman Begins. I can't get enough of Joker.

coming to cut the joke

I love the theme of the show, which is dark and grim, like Harvey Dent said, "The night is darkest just before the dawn." In Gotham city, which is a hopeless, corrupted city ruled by endless crimes, things are bleak, people die gruesomely, citizens are always terrified and safety is last. It's a worse feeling than the fear of doomsday cos in this place you're so innocent to deserve something like that. I think the current world is becoming more like Gotham bcos "Some men aren't looking for anything logical. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn."


When you hear "I knew the mob wouldn't go down without a fight. But this is different. They crossed the line. ", you know there's a new challenger.

Evening, Commissioner...

Heath Ledger's portrayal of Joker is really scary, even Morgan Freeman, as Lucius Fox was left terrified until he forgot his lines. The way he leaves his trail, with the burning Joker card, the way he hit eye contact with you, the way he screams like mad man, he really scares the shit out of you. When he said "People will die. I am a man of my word(plus that devilish laughter)", I believe he meant it. And, he brought chaos throughout the city of Gotham.

I really love the psychopath. He's crazy, insane, deranged, and terrifying.

This city deserves a better class of criminal and I'm gonna give it to them.

And in between all those insanities of killing people brutally, driving people insane, terrorizing the people, he can still have good sense of humour. That kind of humour that is funny but the victims are too terrified to think it's hilarious. I like the part where he crashed into the night ball, shooting in the air and saying "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. We're tonight's entertainment."

He's that kind of villain that leaves you constantly worrying what he will do next. Even Batman was nervous and didn't know how to deal with him. He told Alfred "People are dying. What would you have me do?". Last time, Bruce Wayne overcome his fear of bats and thought he became fearless. This is different. This guy is clearly a sick nuisance capable of doing anything shitty enough. And he will always be breathing down Bruce's neck. It's a whole new level of fear.

Why... so... serious?

With Gotham banking on him alone to face this monster, it's a big demand of him. Bruce is afterall just a normal superpower-less human being, who needs a normal life and love too. The way he has to suppress his fears everytime he puts on his Batsuit, it takes a lot of courage and sacrifice cos he does it all by himself.

It's one hell of a movie, that is worth the hours wasted on writing this blog entry. Yeah, I'm one sick guy who loves Joker. July 18 is a joke. Why the hell so long??

It's all... part of the plan.

degrading criminals

criminals like rapists, robbers, thieves and even loiterers are sampah masyarakat. From loiterers, they are promoted to thieves, then to robbers, then to rapists.

Loiterers are stupid people who sit at the shopping complex corridor for the whole day, doing nothing except smoking, talking trash, staring and whistling at girls. They have nothing better to do in their lives. I walk past them, feeling disgusted everytime, and feeling like spitting at them or just throwing some coins at them. Thieves and robbers are selfish people who have a pair of capable hands and legs each, but refuse to use them to right worth. Rapists are sex-addicts who think people's assholes are for them.

These people has no worth or value to the society. They are failures who don't achieve anything in life and don't deserve to live.

insecurities

never thought i would write this cos it's embarrassing and who knows, when girls know my weaknesses, they would kick me out of potential bf list. haha.

i am quite a pampered child, really. From young, I have been brought up in a comfortable environment and my parents never really made me do things or taught me. And so, the now me is a blur kid who doesn't do house chores and a whole lot of other basic things.

There are a lot things about me that are laughable. The way I sweep or mop the floor. The consistent clumsiness and all. As much as I feel like a failure cos I dont help out with house chores, laziness always wins over me.

I grew up being fetched by people of course, but I never really pay attention or tried to remember roads and locations. Yea, I have a bad sense of direction. I live in Klang but there're a lot of places that I don't know how to go. Nowadays, it improves a bit lah cos I drive more often, but there's so much that I still need to learn. I remembered once I drove my friends to collect ang pows during CNY and I brought them to "Holland". It was kinda embarrassing cos I was fetching 2 girls some more! And the worse thing is, I forgot where is the girls' houses ad.

Life is complicated, but I always kinda refuse to accept the complexities of things. I try to take things easy and simple, and be more accepting of whatever situations that come although sometimes it doesn't make sense. I mean, I tend to avoid thinking too much and accept things as they are. Sometimes, when I do that, I sound stupid. If you know what I mean. I bet you don't.

And, I must admit that I'm one who appreciate my time at home. I think I inherited it from my dad, cos my dad usually prefers to sleep through his free time rather than go out. That's why sometimes I rejected fren's invitations to go out bcos of laziness. But, I do have the going-out urge la.

I really admire my male friends who has scars from injuries like falling from bike or stuff like that. Growing up being at home most of the time, needless to say, I am normally injury-free. It's not something to be proud of for me. Sometimes, I enjoy getting injured like bruises or swells from playing futsal. But, I always escape unscathed from the games. Players are grateful for that, but I wonder why I don't get injured.

the male brain

I took this from JuinGiap's friendster profile. It's freaking funny and most of the time, True.

indirect sarcasm

Indirect sarcasm is an art. I mean, to me, it is a very classy way of "shooting" people or talking back. Rather than being straight and making a person instantly angry, it is better still to beat around the bush, say something different but will ultimately lead to the intended meaning, letting the victim do some thinking before figuring out the real meaning. When the victim could not understand the indirect meaning, it makes him or her look silly. When the victim understands, heck cool. Sometimes, the in-between pauses before the victim really understands it also make them look foolish enough.

Now, the good part is, we never really say what we mean. The victim cannot directly blame or scold us bcos we didn't actually say it! The meaning of what we say depends on individual interpretation sometimes. You can always deny that you intended to mean it, with that yeah-i-mean-it look on your face. How frustrating will that be for the victim? Cos deep in the heart, the victim knows it, feels "pedas" but cannot do anything.

Sometimes, people are being unreasonable in quarrels and it is no point to explain or reason with them. In these situations, indirect sarcasm works best. We can admit defeat in an irritating way like "Yea, I can't do all these cos i'm not as "smart" as some people. His IQ is so high.. bla bla bla."

In fact, most of the time, this method is useful. You can spare the time spent on defending yourself and instead, admit defeat but make the winner look stupid. You don't need to win arguments with unreasonable people. Indirectly, you are the winner already cos in the end the one who feels the heavier embarrassment is not you.

It is obvious that people who keep shooting you just wants to irritate the hell out of you and make you angry. When you're angry, he/she wins. The more angry you are, the more you fight back and defend yourself, the happier he/she is. It is a trap for you to fall in. These people are prepared for arguments and have the points ready. So, you will only feel angrier and angrier at the end of the quarrel. Victory for the shooter. So, in these situations, we don't need to defend ourselves. We can just admit defeat by saying "yeah, I'm stupid" with that sarcastic, irritating oh-i'm-actually-stupid look on our faces. In your heart, you don't care what the person says. With that thick face, we are emotionally immune to their verbal abuse. We don't need to feel angry unnecessarily for the wrong reasons for the rest of the day bcos we have a life to get on with. And we can always take comfort from the fact that these people are so free to irritate us because we must have something that they are jealous of, or dengki.

Maybe, the main question to whether you need to defend yourself is, who is the person shooting you. Of course, if a close friend or direct family member talks bad about you, it hurts. You need to defend yourself bcos you care for your relationship with them. If some unimportant people comments negatively about you, why bother to defend youself or even care? They are not somebody to you. Their comments and what they think are not important to you. Unless if it affects your circle of friends' impression on you then you need to do something lah.

Of course, I'd like to learn more of indirect sarcasm cos it feels good when you manage to pull it off. But, most of the time, I feel it's better to be conservative a bit and stay out of trouble. If you lose arguments, you feel down in the dumps, thinking about it for the rest of the day. If you win arguments, you never know what sore losers will do to you next. After you say that you don't mean something with that yeah-i-mean-it face, the victim may give you a sweet punch on your innocent face. However, all these problems are bound to happen, so it's how wisely you deal with it that matters.