Wednesday, March 3, 2010


I'm beginning to think I'm a workaholic looking at how things have gone by this year. Besides my masters' classes for 3 subjects and my part-time work as a research assistant, I'm also continuing my Japanese from where I left off in level 1 as well as constantly looking for free talks to attend. In short, I've been trying to put in effort on self-improvement and productivity which I have a lot to catch up with.

Now with my masters being night classes on 3 days only, I am spared a lot of free time to think about everything and anything with clear mind which would be a luxury in the hectic lifestyle of a degree student. I would say that I have a good control of my life this time around with a lot less distractions of, again, a degree student. The eagerness to be ahead of time really pushes me to do a lot of things ahead of schedule to the extent that I read up on the topic before the lecturer teaches the lesson or look for further academic errands to do during my free time. I mean, I've never really done that before this!

When it comes to my free time that I really have nothing to do to pass time, I end up asking myself whether I'm such a workaholic who has no hobbies other than football. The way some people see it, it's nerdy. But I'd never categorize myself as a nerd because I don't really get the best of results with the effort I put in. Not trying to say its unfair, but probably the limitation of my brain.

To me, I'd like to think the way my dad (or my dad's generation) thinks. At our age, they don't get the chances to do things that we youngsters get to do these days. Instead, they worked very hard to improve themselves academically and they really develop the never-say-die attitude in life considering the hardship they went through during their generation. Today, many people say they are just not good in studies and they are just not cut out to be a student like its too easy to say it. They are more interested in mixing around with friends and enjoy doing fun things. If you ask my dad what he thinks about these people, he'd definitely say its bullshit. (Can or cannot) and (want or don't want) is what differenciates people.

Of course I don't want to talk like an empty can, I do hope one day I can be very successful and then look back on those people who talked about the hard life they have without initiative and laugh.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Random post again

Things have been going well for me of late as I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now. The feeling of having a clear sense of path or direction in life is great, in contrast with the painful wait for my degree result in october when I was full of question marks of what path of life my eventual result will take me.

I'm currently working as a part-time research assistant with my masters due to start in january and I will have sufficient time to study for my society exams as well since the classes are night sessions. It's like a new life and I'm kinda excited to kickoff the new year. Career, to a man, means everything to his pride. Ask yourself, what's your value?

On a side note, I've always have a dilemma in my approach to life. Which would you prefer, try your best and be positive in life, or try your best and be negative and expect the worse result?

My approach is the latter and from experience, it comes with nightmarish pressure and stress although the results are there sooner or later. During my previous preparations for my last degree finals and exam FM, for example, I got over-stressed to the extent that I fell sick on both occasions. The bright side of this approach is that I'm always critical of my own performance however sufficient it is and I was never satisfied with what I have done, which paves the way for improvement.

When you tried your best but expect the worse result, imagine the euphoria when the result turned out to be a good one. It's a joy. Haha

Have a nice day.

Monday, October 12, 2009


My brain's thoughts have been messy for some time so i'll just use keywords to describe wats playing in my lost mind.

soft skills, japanese, french, fm-dec, c, mlc-next yr, girl, nov b'dayS, apply um-call them, applied stats, upm/ukm-bangi, serdang (far!), result- cgpa 3.0(PLEASE), work half a year(reluctantly) -prudential, AIA, ING, pj room(release?), i want a car, grow up, bored, read a book, man utd, pro evo soccer, leave those attention desperados alone-some busybody ppl will entertain them, wats yr value?, shut the fuck up if u contribute nothing to the society, getting along with difficult ppl, are parents' expectations justified or just too pushing?, getting ready for society, girls who think they are the world-pathetic.

Can someone organize my thoughts for me?

Saturday, August 1, 2009

It has been some hectic weeks with exams and assignments, which will continue for the next 2 weeks. Its the typical business part of the semester, where we accumulate our coursework marks for the comfort going into the finals.

But this time it is not that typical anymore, given the fact that i'll be going through this process of coursework and finals for the final time in my degree. It's my last chance of salvaging my pride and future with a decent result to show. To make it even more dramatic, i'm in danger of being relegated to 2nd lower class with my cgpa(3.0) like an egg on a horn.

1st class: 3.5-4
2nd class upper: 3-3.499
2nd class lower: 2.2-2.999

If I ever dropped 0.1, i'll be no different from a cgpa 2.2 student. Wtf.

So i've been putting in some hardwork in there and i'm beginning to reap the rewards from the encouraging results. But of course there're lotsa things sacrificed like time with friends and my ENGLISH, which explains my absence from my blog.

And then there comes another brain-killer question of which path i'm gonna take after finishing my degree. At 20, i'm certainly not gonna venture into the working world, put myself into unnecessary pressure and rob me of my childhood adoslescence. I'm gonna make sure i'm mentally and substance-wise prepared before doing that.

I may end up studying masters in UM, singapore, utar or doing full-time studies for professional exams. And i tell u, the chances of me doing one of the options above is as good as any other, which goes to show my indecisiveness.

Mental breakdown: 4 more tests and 1 more assignment in 2 weeks time.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Ella Koon

Ella Koon(left) is hot! So is Megan Fox!

Friday, May 22, 2009

My controversial self

I develop a lot of negative first impression on people whom I'm not close with, or should i say pre-judgment/jump-to-conclusions/stereotype. Seriously. I tend to have this notion that this world has so many people vying for attention of everybody else and so they try desperately to stand out, which make them look like losers to me, when in fact they're obviously not. It's just a thought in the head and i never make these thoughts known or complain or whatsoever. It's just a thought until I really get to know the true story behind something.

For example, I have this disgust at people trying to blast people in their msn display msg, talking confidently about achieving some impossible targets when in fact they were once dropouts and have no achievements or whatsoever to boast of, writing love quotes about making sacrifices when people can only doubt whether u practice what u preach, scolding people constantly as if u're at the wrong end of things all the time, talking about having their patience tested as if they're someone who should not be messed with, etc. Such is my negativity of people. I just get this feeling that these people are just attention desperados who want to be thought of as having personality.

Sometimes when in a group of friends, someone tries to do lotsa "stunts"/actions/tantrums to cheer up the mood, I often take them as desperate attempts to impress the people around especially girls. Its quite distinguishable between genuine jokes and jokes intended to impress. While honest jokers get absorbed in the joke itself, attention desperados jokers usually cares too much about people's reaction to the joke that u can see from their eyes lingering around to look for response whether they are impressed or not. Sometimes when the joke is not funny at all and noone's laughing, it becomes lame, pathetic, and ironically funny bcos of the patheticness.

And I also have this terrible pre-judgment of people who describe themselves in friendster and blogger profiles. Those who talks highly of themselves sounds boastful to me. Some people go to the extent of stating their exact excellent result grades on the friendster profile. But then when people talk about them being just ordinary/simple/next-door/normal people, I also feel that they're seeking for attention rather than really being humble. What's wrong with me?! The problem to me here is too many people are saying that they are just ordinary people that it sounded to me they're trying to boast about being ordinary and at the same time different from others.

My point here is a lot of things can be done quietly with action, not talk. If u're aiming for something really ambitious, then do it first before u start boasting about it like how man utd players do. When u're not happy with someone, then try yr best to solve the problem rather than just banging people on msn display msg. When u have thoughts about your own relationship, then keep it personal and if u're a good partner then surely the resulting strong relationship will be there for all to see. You don't have to make it sound like the whole world revolves only around you. We can do it the kris allen way, quietly getting on with your job and ultimately gets the job done.

Then again, after all these crap, it's just necessary to mention that I'm not complaining cos they're just my negativity and opinions. I was talking about people's weaknesses above, and this negativity is my weakness.